The Five Stages of Board Gamers
Did it hurt?
When you fell into the board gaming hobby?
Whether you dipped your toe in, were shoved in by a friend, or did an epic cannonball into the deep end, you are swimming in this pool of board game love with us!
Entering into this hobby, there seems to be Five Stages of Board Gamers. This caught my attention as loosely similar to the Five Stages of Grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). Let’s see what stage you’re in…
Denial (or the “Ignorance is voluntary misfortune” stage)
At this stage, your knowledge of board games is Milton Bradley, Parker Brothers, and playing cards. You laughed at the Ace Ventura reference of the “Monopoly Guy” and you have horror stories of playing Twister. But that’s probably as far as it goes for you.
There’s also a decent chance that you haven’t played a board game in several years, thinking them to be “for kids.” You’ve played some rounds of Spades/Hearts, but nothing concrete.
2. Anger (or the “Why have I been missing out on this??” phase)
Some faithful soldier has shown you the light. You’re hanging out with friends, and someone brings in Catan or Cards Against Humanity or Flip 7. What is this? It’s structured fun and joy in a box.
You might be skeptical. You might be intrigued. You play, and that light bulb clicks on. Where there was darkness in your life, board games have brought the light.
3. Bargaining (or the “Dating and Honeymoon” phase)
You are no longer ignorant. You have seen the light. Where once you might have had three or four games that could be found in Walmart or a garage sale, you find out there are Friendly Local Game Stores, spaces wholly devoted to tabletop games. You gather your courage and enter. You are immediately overwhelmed by the colors, the sheer number, the names. The store clerk, seeing your deer-in-headlights expression, slowly heads towards you so as not to spook you.
“Hello. Can I help you find anything in particular?” Uhhhhhh….
Sensing a newbie, the clerk makes some recommendations of the tried and true gateway games – Ticket to Ride, Catan, Love Letter, Dixit, Mountain Goats. Oooofff, these board games are expensive! $50 for cardboard!?!
You snag one or two, play them, and fall deeper in love! That clerk was right. You start to look online. You find something called Board Game Geek. You stumble over to the Dice Tower, to Rodney Smith with Watch It Played, to Instagram’s wealth of gamer influencers.
You frantically devour every Top 10 list, Must Have, Hotness scale game you can find. Your collection of 3 games multiples by 10 in a month. You hunt Facebook marketplace for those bargains (see? I brought it back to bargaining eventually). You are looking for deals and more and more and more. Where you first balked at a game costing $50, you now go all-in on a $200 Kickstarter pledge without batting an eye. Upgraded bits! Card sleeves! Expansions! Inserts!
You have become a board game dragon, and only more for your hoard will sate your hunger.
4. Depression (or the “What goes up, must come down” phase)
You now have hundreds of games. You know your worker placement from your engine builders from your area influence. You have a favorite designer, a favorite company, a favorite accessory. You log your plays and share your stats.
But now, you’re low on the Big Four resources – time, money, space, gaming friends.
Time – How long does it take to play Brass: Birmingham (the current BGG top game)? 60-120 minutes. You have hundreds of games now. It’s incredibly difficult to get to even half of your collection once during the year. Let alone all of it.
Money – Do you know how much money you’ve spent on board games? Good. You don’t want to know.
Space – Unfortunately, board game boxes take up a lot of space. The average box size is 11.7" x 11.7" x 2.8". These are not thin comic books, tiny stamps, or bird-watching books. A sizeable board game collection like yours can take up every open wall space in your home.
Gaming Friends – Unless you hit the relationship lottery, your significant other isn’t going to have quite the appetite for gaming that you do. Odds are decent you’ve burnt them out entirely on board games. Maybe you’ve moved or maybe you never settled that feud from Twilight Imperium. Finding someone to sit down and play games with is more challenging than I wish it was.
Board gaming is typically an indoor, seated activity. Is it time to go outside a bit? Top off that Vitamin D and move your legs a bit? Make sure you are keeping up with your health while you manage your other resources.
5. Acceptance (or “Finding new status quo” phase)
As with the final stage in grieving, Acceptance is not necessarily one of happiness, but rather a state of coming to terms and finding a way to move forward. When you’ve maxed out one (or more) of your Big Four resources, it’s time to reevaluate. Do you need to cull your collection? Do you need to put certain guidelines in place for purchasing? Like, can you play it before you buy it to ensure you love it? Do you have people who will play that particular game with you? If someone in your group has a game, do you need it too? Is it on Board Game Arena?
It’s not sustainable to grab all the games like the Cookie Monster. As with everything in life, balance is the key. Get new games, but get rid of games that aren’t making it to the table anymore (or ever).
So, what Stage of Board Gamer are you in currently? This hobby is a journey, not a destination. We are always growing, learning, finding, playing. Take your time traveling down this path, and enjoy the (ticket to) ride!
